so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Randomize
