i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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