Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
