I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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