I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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