I never want to see another naked old woman again.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
