We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
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I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
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He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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