I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Less talking, more tequila
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
