i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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