I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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