He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Still dying that you shit outside
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
