he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
