Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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