Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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