drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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