A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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