Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
