Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
