I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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