So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize