it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
