one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
