I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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