My sheets look like a crime scene.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
