So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
