i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
