The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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