He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
