Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
tell me about the eggs
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
