How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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