I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
