I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She even gives head with a lisp.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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