So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
