Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
