dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize