omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
