I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
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He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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