worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
