You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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