I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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