My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize