so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
