I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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