Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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