just come out here and I will go home with you...
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
