It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
