if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
