Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
