I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
