Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
