As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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