Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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