I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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