You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Found your dick twin last night
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
