i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
So squirting runs in the family.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
