mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends