Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.