like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
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He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful