Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.

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  (303): I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine. http://tfl.nu/vmvb
  Replies (2) Good night (2501) Bad night (560)
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  (212): View more from New York

  chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.

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  (212): chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble. http://tfl.nu/y9yr
  Replies (46) Good night (8322) Bad night (1298)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?

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  (734): Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths? http://tfl.nu/85c1
  Replies (3) Good night (3357) Bad night (833)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit

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  (302): dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit http://tfl.nu/61qr
  Replies (13) Good night (6755) Bad night (1222)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..

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  (785): Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine.. http://tfl.nu/247z
  Replies (8) Good night (4830) Bad night (1564)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.

  (1-256): View more from Alabama

  dude how high are you right now?

  (256): View more from Alabama

  do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.

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  (256): i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground. (1-256): dude how high are you right now? (256): do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves. http://tfl.nu/7ihc
  Replies (41) Good night (11886) Bad night (1422)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  it's great music for shaving your balls

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  (850): it's great music for shaving your balls http://tfl.nu/etrw
  Replies (25) Good night (3907) Bad night (1798)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.

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  (704): I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home. http://tfl.nu/daw2
  Replies (5) Good night (936) Bad night (2333)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.

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  (610): I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse. http://tfl.nu/qk0b
  Replies (32) Good night (1678) Bad night (16038)
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  (760): View more from California

  running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.

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  (760): running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi. http://tfl.nu/0lmy
  Replies (6) Good night (2166) Bad night (1311)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."

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  (512): We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get." http://tfl.nu/dl94
  Replies (1) Good night (1489) Bad night (543)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...

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  (902): He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it... http://tfl.nu/at35
  Replies (6) Good night (1819) Bad night (589)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional

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  (908): I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional http://tfl.nu/0jgi
  Replies (4) Good night (612) Bad night (280)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.

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  (334): i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears. http://tfl.nu/d46z
  Replies (0) Good night (453) Bad night (322)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too

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  (206): currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too http://tfl.nu/wlj9
  Replies (0) Good night (384) Bad night (558)

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