Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore

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(502): I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore http://tfl.nu/n25p

Replies (37) Good night (6775) Bad night (1482)
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(410): View more from Maryland

There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.

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(410): There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you. http://tfl.nu/a558

Replies (9) Good night (5176) Bad night (1522)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.

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(610): Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand. http://tfl.nu/ms96

Replies (10) Good night (4579) Bad night (1373)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.

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(248): Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it. http://tfl.nu/o1jt

Replies (8) Good night (4127) Bad night (1312)
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(631): View more from New York

4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.

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(631): 4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised. http://tfl.nu/mwr8

Replies (7) Good night (1121) Bad night (2116)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.

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(570): My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide. http://tfl.nu/y8jz

Replies (6) Good night (2716) Bad night (1175)
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(607): View more from New York

You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.

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(607): You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive. http://tfl.nu/27zg

Replies (27) Good night (2922) Bad night (788)
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(914): View more from New York

The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.

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(914): The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands. http://tfl.nu/vf34

Replies (5) Good night (3028) Bad night (653)
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(224): View more from Illinois

At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk

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(224): At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk http://tfl.nu/rjll

Replies (3) Good night (1096) Bad night (766)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.

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(803): I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT. http://tfl.nu/pk4z

Replies (4) Good night (1553) Bad night (625)
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(228): View more from Mississippi

Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!

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(228): Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?! http://tfl.nu/8no9

Replies (6) Good night (1558) Bad night (878)
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(905): View more from Ontario

It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.

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(905): It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms. http://tfl.nu/s3t3

Replies (3) Good night (972) Bad night (496)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.

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(303): Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way. http://tfl.nu/uitb

Replies (7) Good night (688) Bad night (1013)
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(410): View more from Maryland

He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."

(410): View more from Maryland

I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.

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(410): He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever." (410): I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much. http://tfl.nu/3c5w

Replies (4) Good night (1668) Bad night (376)
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(925): View more from California

Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.

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(925): Bored at work. googling vodka waffles. http://tfl.nu/6y0b

Replies (1) Good night (517) Bad night (433)

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