i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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