There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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