I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
