Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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