I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
