Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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