Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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