Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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