My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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