So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
