So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
