It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
