u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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