Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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