He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm experimenting with sincerity
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize